Rock-a-Mole with Santana

Carlos Santana - Smooth

Santana avocados (smooth...)

Man its a hot one

Like seven inches from the midday sun
I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone
But you stay so cool
My mu equita my Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa
Your my reason for reason
The step in my groove - 

These are the lyrics from Santana's smash hit with Rob Thomas (of Matchbox 20) for SMOOTH

One of my FAVORITE, rare, heritage avocados is the Santana. It's large, creamy and so smooth. So is Carlos Santana - coincidence? I think not.  ;-)  

Here's a guacamole recipe for the Santana avocado that is HOT (like 7 inches from the midday sun). It's smooth like Carlos. It's sexy like Rob Thomas.  Enjoy....

INGREDIENTS:
2 ripe Santana avocados
1 tablespoon Diva Guacamole seasoning
1 "sweet lime" - cut into wedges
1 tablespoon Tabasco sauce
1 teaspoon margarita salt (flakey, sea salt)
1 shot glass Patron tequila

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cut Santana avocado into quarters and de-pit.
2. PEEL the skin away to keep as much dark green flesh as possible. (Santana's peel easily.)
3. Cut into large chunks (see photo) with 2 knives.
4. Sprinkle liberally with sweet-lime juice, Diva Guacamole spices and Tabasco sauce.
5. Put sea salt on your hand - and take a lick.
6. Pour tequila into yourself (follow by biting on a wedge of sweet lime!)
7. Wash hands - then stir guacamole well and eat with tortilla chips.

Smooth.

Vegan Friendly BACON Guacamole!

This is my "triple threat" Bacon-Bacon-Bacon guacamole and (TA DA!) -- it has NO pork in it.

So if you are a vegetarian or vegan -- this might help solve some of your forbidden cravings. With no piggies harmed in the process!

INGREDIENTS:
2 Bacon variety avocados 
1 tablespoon Bacon flavored hot sauce
1 teaspoon "tour de salt" applewood smoked sea salt
juice from 1 medium lemon

DIRECTIONS:

1. Pit and peel the Bacon avocados - mash.
2. Squeeze lemon juice over avocados. 
3. Sprinkle avocado mash with salt and hot sauce.
4. Stir. 
5. Taste and add more hot sauce or salt if you wish
6. Eat. 

If you long for the smokey flavor of bacon -- this guacamole will fill the bill. 

You can find the special products here: Be sure and tell them the Avocado Diva sent you! 

Tour de Salt - including applewood smoked sea salts and more

Bacon Hot Sauce - from my mentor, the Bacon Freak

Both of these firms are local and I know these families - we all go to the Farmer's Markets and sell from our home town - so I personally know they take care of their customers! 

Guacamole Mote - with Salsa

This is a good way to serve guacamole so that people who don't like it too spicy can co-exist with people who like their guacamole on fire!

Make up your favorite, fresh guacamole -- serve it in a bowl by making it into a delicious mote of green-ness. Fill the middle of the mote (where the castle would be) with your favorite salsa.

This should be served with tortilla chips. No other "delivery device" would do.

Enjoy!

Guacamole - NOT!

Pet peeve alert!  That "stuff" they sell frozen is NOT guacamole. I don't technically think it's even a food.

Unacceptable to a Diva

Here is a Diva's list of NOT guacamole: 
[  ] If it comes in a plastic jug
[  ] If it comes in a plastic tub
[  ] If it comes in a plastic bag
[  ] If it was frozen
[  ] If you can dip your taquitos in while driving your car

I know, I know. It's sometimes easier and "better than nothing" to get that guacamole from the BIG CHAIN WAREHOUSE (that would sue me if I mention them).

It's also easier to buy a tube of green dip and maybe it is slightly healthier than onion dip (umm.... onion dip!)

However, I say "DIVAs of the world, UNITE!!"  Demand your rights as a DIVA and eat REAL guacamole. From real avocados. Squished with a real fork.  Rant over.